


If You Have Anal Sex With Your Husband, You Might Be a Redneck

by TonyMacauley (Whoharps)



Series: Redneck!Hannibal Verse [1]
Category: Hannibal (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Crack, Anal Sex, Blowjobs, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Cute, Domestic, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, Explicit Sexual Content, Hannibal and Will are rednecks, I'm Serious, M/M, Married Sex, Married Will Graham/Hannibal Lecter, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Southern accents, Twink Will Graham, also hes a total bear, hannibal has a beer belly, redneck au, shitty southern dialect writing, this is utter crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-02
Updated: 2020-04-02
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:08:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23449060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Whoharps/pseuds/TonyMacauley
Summary: Hannibal and Will are Rednecks with full on Southern accents. This is absolute utter crack and I'm not sorry.
Relationships: Will Graham/Hannibal Lecter
Series: Redneck!Hannibal Verse [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1686883
Comments: 32
Kudos: 74





	If You Have Anal Sex With Your Husband, You Might Be a Redneck

**Author's Note:**

  * For [pensee](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pensee/gifts).



> I blame [@closetracoon](https://twitter.com/closetraccoon) and [@penseeart](https://twitter.com/penseeart) for this utter nonsense. Basically the concept was "what if Hannibal was a redneck like Joe Exotic from Tiger King?" and it spiraled from there.

“SheEHT!”

“Wassa matter babey?” said Will, looking up from the soapy dishes he was busy washing.

“Jus’ got my goddamn finger stuck ‘n th’ goddamn door ‘again! God _damn_ that hurt like hell,” grunted his husband, storming through the door and making his way over to Will.

“Aw babey, y’ want me t’ kiss it better?” simpered Will, turning around and leaning up against the counter. He was wearing his favorite cherry printed apron and well worn denim cutoffs—Hannibal’s favorite. His husband leaned in close, smirking, and held his injured finger up to Will’s mouth.

“If y’ don’ mind, sweet thang,” Hannibal purred. Will grinned up at him and pressed a gentle kiss to the digit, then nipped at it teasingly, batting his eyes up at his husband. Hannibal growled, pressing in close and nipping at Will’s neck in response. Will arched into the touch, bringing his arms around Hannibal, careful to keep his sudsy hands from touching Hannibal’s shirt.

“Babey, babey— I got suds all over m’ hands, hold on—” Will broke off with a moan as Hannibal reached under his apron and tweaked his nipple. “ _Babey—”_

“I don’ give two shits ‘bout that, honey,” said Hannibal, grabbing Will and hoisting his legs up around his waist. Will screamed in laughter.

“ _Easy_ -now horndog,” he squeeked, clutching at Hannibal’s shoulders to steady himself. He nuzzled at Hannibal's neck as he was carried perfunctorily into the bedroom and tossed onto the bed. Hannibal was quick to straddle him and start kissing down his neck. Will giggled and arched into the touch, running his hands through Hannibal’s hair.

Hannibal sighed happily and nuzzled into Will’s hair.

“Oh y’ smell wonderful darlin’,” he murmured.

“I got all washed up special jus’ for you babey,” said Will hastily unbuttoning his husband’s shirt. He bit his lip at the sight of the salt and pepper chest hair that was revealed and immediately proceeded to nuzzle up into it happily. He ran his hands down Hannibal’s torso and stroked at his paunch lovingly. Hannibal pressed Will into the bed with a happy growl.

“Goddamn sweetheart, y’ make me crazy!” said Hannibal, rucking up Will’s apron and pressing kisses to his belly. His scruff tickled Will’s skin and he giggled happily.

“B _ay-_ bey that tickles!” Will squealed, squirming away futilely as Hannibal chuckled and rubbed his scruff more firmly on Will’s stomach making him wiggle even more. Hannibal tutted, but relented with a chuckle. He kissed even farther down and nuzzled at Will’s straining bulge.

“You excited t’ see me darlin’?” Hannibal growled, reaching up and palming at Will’s cock through the stiff denim. Will moaned.

“Hurry the _fuck_ up, dear, I’ve been waiting _all day,”_ whined Will, arching up the older man’s hand.

“Oh _really?”_ teased Hannibal. “ _All_ day?”

“Yeah— please, Hannibal—” Will groaned, arousal pumping through his veins.

“Aw, ye poor darlin’, so patient for me,” said Hannibal breathily. He finally (finally!) unbuttoned Will’s tight shorts and yanked down his lace thong roughly, releasing his already weeping cock. Will groaned happily and squirmed in his husband’s arms

“Hon _eyyyy~”_

“Yes, yes, darlin’, I’m gettin’ there,” chuckled Hannibal, licking at the precome leaking from Will’s erect cock. Will felt a spark of heat run up his spine and bucked into the light touches. He gasped when suddenly Hannibal took him all the way down to the root. His hips tried to thrust involuntarily, but were held down firmly in his husband’s grasp. Hannibal bobbed and sucked at Will’s cock with gusto. Will gasped and groaned at his lover’s attentions. Heat pooled in his gut and he clutched at Hannibal’s hair desperately.

Hannibal lovingly ran his callused hands up and down Will’s thighs, reveling in the twitching of the muscles there. His young lover bucked in his grasp, moaning as Hannibal suckled his aching cock. Hannibal buried his nose in the soft thatch of hair at the base of his husband’s cock, breathing in the scent of him. He hummed around Will’s cock—just how he liked it— and flicked his eyes up to meet his lover’s. Their eyes met and Will moaned at the look in his husband’s eyes.

“H-Hannibal—” Will cried as the fire in his belly swelled and then the dam broke. He grunted as he came down Hannibal’s throat, his husband swallowing every drop eagerly. He didn’t pull away until Will’s dick had softened against his tongue and WIll started to whimper slightly at the oversensitivity. He crawled up and placed a loving kiss against Wil’s jaw.

“Love you darlin’,” murmured Hannibal into Will’s neck.

“Love you too, babey,” whispered Will, lovingly stroking his husband’s hair. He chuckled when he felt the press of Hannibal’s cock on his thigh. “Someone’s still excited, ain’t ya sweetheart?”

“If ya don’t mind, darlin’,” said Hannibal, rolling off of his husband and waiting expectantly.

“Yer so spoiled babey,” said Will, straddling his husband obligingly. He ran his hands down Hannibal’s soft stomach and twirled his fingers in the hairs covering it. He pressed kisses down towards where his lover's cock was straining through his work jeans. Hannibal pressed up into the touch with a happy sigh. Will smirked and made quick work of the belt and zipper, releasing his husband’s straining cock. He breathed in the musky scent and licked a stripe up the throbbing dick, chasing the taste.

“Darlin’ yer killin’ me here,” groaned Hannibal, pushing up into the touch. Will giggled sweetly.

“Babey I’m barely gettin’ started~” he sing-songed. He reached behind himself and, with a wink to Hannibal, pulled out the plug he had been wearing all afternoon. Hannibal moaned at the lewd sound that was produced. Will grinned and gave his husband’s cock a few hasty stokes and then proceeded to impale himself onto it, bottoming out with a whorish moan. It wasn’t _quite_ as slick as normal, but Will loved the burn. He purred happily at the almost-too-much stretch.

Hannibal growled and gripped Will’s hips, startled by the suddenness of his actions.

“Sweetheart yer so _fuckin’_ tight—” Hannibal grunted, hips involuntarily thrusting shallowly into his lover’s hole.

“Only th’ best for my babey.” Will dipped down to press a loving kiss to Hannibal’s nose, rocking his hips as he did so. “Now, are ya gonna fuck me into the mattress or am I gonna have t’ do all the work on my lonesome?”

Hannibal let out a growl at Will’s words, and quickly flipped the pair over so he was on top of his husband. He quickly proceeded to pull his cock almost all the way out of Will’s hole, and then slammed it back in with a grunt. Will moaned as a shock of pleasure flowed through his torso. Hannibal continued to fuck into his husband, hitting his prostate with practiced ease.

Will was panting and moaning in pleasure beneath his lover. He could hear the jingling of his husband’s belt buckle and feel the scrape of jeans on his thighs. He clutched at Hannibal’s shoulders, crying out in delight when his prostate was hit.

“C’mon cowboy, harder!” Will urged, sparking a surge of arousal to flow through Hannibal. He redoubled his efforts as he felt the press of the smaller man’s cock where it was trapped between them. Hannibal grinned and reached down to tug at the engorged member, quickly bringing Will to an orgasm. Will screamed in ecstasy, every muscle in his body clenching as he spilled over his lover’s hand. Hannibal moaned in response at the sudden clench around his cock, and after a few more thrusts, was coming himself. Will, still in the aftershocks of his own orgasm, shivered in rapture at the sensation of his husband’s come pumping into him. The pair rocked together as they allowed the tremors to wash through them.

Hannibal collapsed next to Will, panting. His chest hair was damp with sweat, gut moving quickly up and down with exertion. Will was in a similar state. He rolled over and tucked himself into Hannibal’s side, running a hand affectionately over his lover. He smiled up at Hannibal and pressed a kiss to his husband’s slick collarbone.

“Thank you babey, you’re always so good t’ me,” he murmured gratefully.

“I should be sayin’ that to you, darlin’, I’m lucky t’ have ya,” chuckled Hannibal, kissing WIll’s forehead.

The pair lay there in silence for a while until, finally, Will gave a grumble at the feeling of come drying on his chest. Hannibal smiled and sat up with a groan, belly jiggling slightly as he moved. Pulling himself out of bed he finally stripped himself of his jeans, leaving them in a heap on the floor. Will whined at the loss of contact, and flopped over across the bed.

“I don’t think I can get up, babey,” he whined pathetically. Hannibal rolled his eyes and grabbed his young lover and threw him over his shoulder. Will squealed and giggled, kicking out as he was carried to the shower.

“Darlin’ you _did_ ask fer this,” Hannibal reminded him, chuckling at his husband’s antics, “and I ain’t even _close_ t’ bein’ done with ya tonight.”

Needless to say, their shower did not involve much actual clean-up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ([Title inspiration](https://youtu.be/vwlny1hcUh0))


End file.
